人妻少妇专区

Master Class

Developmentally, 18-year-olds are in a category called emerging adulthood. It鈥檚 a big period of identity transformation. The nature of their parental relationships changes, and their peer groups and friendships are changing as well. They have to redefine themselves academically. They might have been at the top of their high school class, but where are they going to fall now? And they鈥檙e dealing with the end of their physical maturation. So there鈥檚 a lot for late adolescents to be worrying about in their first semester in college.

For the college professor, working with these first-semester students is a completely different experience than working with any other student in college. In observing first-semester freshmen, I often see the features of social anxiety. At Misericordia, our classes are very small. And even then, some students will never talk, will never participate. But they are very talkative and chatty when I meet with them one-on-one. And I鈥檇 say, 鈥淲hy don鈥檛 you ever talk in class?鈥� And they鈥檇 say, 鈥淥h, I don鈥檛 know. I never feel like I have anything good to say.鈥� To me, that type of self-doubt and concern about others鈥� perceptions could be a mark of social anxiety.

I got interested in parent-child relationships, because as a professor and an advisor, I鈥檝e found they have so much influence over a student鈥檚 adjustment to college. We鈥檝e been talking about how students have to adjust and redefine themselves, but parents have to do that, too. If the parents aren鈥檛 undergoing their own parallel process of readjusting and redefining their role and relationship with their child, then what are the effects going to be on the child? As an instructor and an advisor, I鈥檝e gotten calls and emails from parents asking questions about their student鈥檚 schedule. And when that happens, I think: 鈥淗ere鈥檚 a parent who really isn鈥檛 readjusting yet.鈥�

My research has focused on intrusive parents. What鈥檚 been called the helicopter parent is now also called the snowplow parent. The snowplow parent tries to push all the bad stuff out of the way to make the path clear and easy for their child. And, working with my colleagues, we鈥檝e found that those students鈥攑articularly if they had two parents who were intrusive鈥攈ad worse outcomes in academic performance, self-esteem, feelings of competency, as well as depression and anxiety.

Students with neglectful parents鈥攑arents not involved in any way鈥攁lso had pretty bad outcomes. What鈥檚 important is to aim for the sweet spot of moderate involvement. That means asking your kids whether they like their classes. Asking them about the decisions they are making. And if they say they鈥檙e having trouble, encouraging them to see the professor, rather than calling up the professor yourself. I鈥檝e had students whose parents proofread their papers, or who study with them on the phone. That鈥檚 a little too much involvement, and doesn鈥檛 empower the student to solve problems and take ownership of their education. It鈥檚 not necessarily the case in parenting that more is better.